With the runtime of approximately two and a half hours, “The Lone Ranger” does a good job at providing a reason to take a bathroom break or two. Gore Verbinski, (director), puts together a team of what seems to be an all-star cast, only to end up with a lame horse of a movie. Johnny Depp, (Tonto), really settles into his normal role of the ‘marbles slightly loose’ character, yet can’t seem to mesh into the story as the other characters do, (or at least try to). Armie Hammer, (John Reid), performs his lone ranger cowboy with a melancholy, monotone, unlikable feel. All the while you’ll be watching Hammer and Depp fight for the spotlight, and truly downplay their faux friendship, leaving the audience wondering why they would ever work together.
WARNING, some spoilers ahead. Right from the first scene, you’ll be stuck feeling awkward not only for the characters, but also for the seemingly forced laughs that the movie will produce. The flashback scenes not only remove us from the story, but they also leave the audience wondering why Tonto lives in a museum after the events of the movie take place. Not to mention the horrid makeup placed on Depp to make him look like an 80 year old Native American business man
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Then we have the love affair that could make any movie-goer uneasy. Ruth Wilson, (Rebecca Reid), seems to be placed into the movie simply because they needed a leading female role. Her addition adds no balance to the film, and the practicality of an honorable cowboy falling in love with his brother’s wife, (even before his brother is dead), simply leaves a strong distaste in my mouth. In today’s movie culture where the controversial hero is celebrated, Lone Ranger falls short of following this tradition despite obvious attempts to embrace it.
In a firefight that is arguably an overzealous interpretation of a 1930’s Western confrontation, Butch Cavendish and his gang flawlessly takes down an entire crew of lawmen from hundreds of yards away. By the end of the film however, these same men transform into lumbering fools, and you’ll be left wondering how their gun wielding abilities could go from excellent to sadly pathetic in such a short period of time.
The movie itself almost knows how senseless it is, which produces a potent disconnect with the audience. With main characters Tonto, (which incidentally translates to ‘dumb’ in Spanish), and the other with the nickname Kemosabe, (roughly translated to ‘he who does not know’), you’ll realize why the story itself seems so dumb-witted. “The Lone Ranger” had the opportunity to become reminiscent of the old Westerns that in American culture and beyond have become timeless classics. What it does instead is teeter on the side of mockery- a disconcerting tendency that threatens the heart of the genre. If “The Lone Ranger” can’t take its own world seriously, then why should we?
That isn’t to say that the film went without creating a spectacle or two. Hans Zimmer brings forth true talent through the musical score, and works us back into the story, (as much as the characters might try to pull us out). The actors should be recognized for the stunts that they did on their own; watching William Fichtner, (Butch Cavendish), jump off a train and onto a horse was quite impressive. However the stunts quickly achieve familiarity with the audience, as one character after another jumps off a train and onto a horse, or off a banister and onto a horse, or off of a house on a horse, you’ll begin to believe that jumping is all these characters know how to do. Variability in action sequences would have made the movie a more breathless experience.
All in all, had there been no flashback sequences and no oddly integrated romance taking place, this could have been a much better movie. Don’t waste your money, don’t see it matinee, and don’t even buy the DVD.
Joe Monfoletto
Rotten Tomatoes Score as of 7/24/2013: 27%
My Score: 23%
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